"P.S. I Love You" Minus the Tragedy

Bonjour mes amis,

Read the title? Yep. That was my day today. Original plan to spend time with the boyfriend was to go around town, snapping pictures, just chatting. Little did I know he had a massive large setup for me in store.

Every day when we wake, we text each other good morning. This morning he told me to check my email before making coffee, so I figured O.K. he left me a cutesy message (as he does that), and jumped out of bed to go read it. Instead it has three attachments; one handwritten letter telling me how much I mean to him and how much I deserve a vacation, one handwritten letter with instructions telling me to go to the Western Union in K-Mart to pick up some money he left me, then go buy myself cough drops, gas, and a coffee, and one map showing me directions for something I'd need after coffee. I love handwritten things, I'm a sentimental person. And I love surprises. He's so sweet!

So I follow the instructions he's left me, and I sit down and enjoy my hot cocoa (I decided that I was so excited I was awake enough without coffee) for a while 'till it's 10:35 and he texts me saying it's time to meet a nice couple he knows. So I follow the directions on the map. Slowly driving down the small street looking for the house with the right address, I see a driveway with a big sign in the yard that read "Your Face, Your Body: Massage Studio." It turns out he didn't know this couple extremely well but they were indeed very nice people. I've never had a professional massage before but this was incredible. Something you have to experience to really explain. It was so relaxing and yet required so much trust and faith but.. Wow. It felt amazing though. An hour later, I dress and thank the wife, Ros, for the massage. She hands me an envelope with my name on it, and we say our farewells. I get in my car and read the handwritten letter inside.

I have a reservation for lunch at Buca di Beppo's. I've driven by it a million times to go to the Ortho and the mall and it was even right by the K-Mart from earlier, but I'd never noticed it till now. It was really cool inside! So many lights and art work and photos and awesomeness. The waiter was really nice too. I ordered what I wanted, and when I finished, the waiter went to take it back to box the left-overs. He comes back and says, "Lunch has been taken care of," and instead of a bill, there's another handwritten letter. I smile and thank him and read the letter.

I have an appointment for a nail salon in the mall! I've never had my nails done either but it's another thing I've wanted to do. I wasn't sure what all he had planned for me but I go there and I have a nice manicure and they paint my nails. They used a ton of different types of goos on my hands. I think the wax was the weirdest. Then for $5 I got a design on my ring fingers. It's really cute but the pictures don't do it justice so I won't even bother posting one here. This of course, came out of the $20 he gave me earlier, as my mother had insisted on giving me money for the cough drops so I had extra.

On my way home, I got to stop for gas so I have even more than I started with this morning.

My love, how every woman in this world isn't head over heels for you, I'll never know.

Á bientot,

Mlle Delphine

Guardian Angel, God, Karma, Luck, whatever it was: Thank You

Bonjour mes amis,

I've been having quite a time. This summer I discovered that the guy I've secretly adored for years but always dismissed it due to complications, thinking there was no way he'd ever feel the same, actually had feelings for me. Since then we've gotten pretty serious, though we have to keep things quiet due to said-complications. But Lord am I lucky to have someone who cares about me like he does. He's one of those guys that everyone dreams about but no one really believes exists. Let me tell you, ladies, he does, and he's all mine. He keeps me smiling even on the hard days. But I don't know what I've done to deserve a man like him.

I've also had a very busy school year. My grades are starting slip a little but no C's yet. I need to start working harder, in fact, I should be working right now. I have an English paper due tomorrow. But I need to get some thoughts out, and I feel that they're important enough that I'll find a way around it. I am very grateful that MEA (three days off of school) is this week because I need a little break from the world. School 8:05-3:00 plus theatre every day from 3:15 to 5ish, Spirit Players is Thursday mornings 7:20 to 7:50, plus random Robotics every week or so, especially with the planning for the Halloween Dance which is coming up on the 30th, so I have to skip my dad's weekend. I'm not happy about that. I miss him.

This weekend I was at his house for the last time until four weeks from now and I've been feeling exceptionally homesick so I cried a little before I left but managed to stop so I could leave without him knowing that I was upset. As soon as I started driving, the tears came back, but I told my wonderful angel that I'd drive safely, so I knew I needed to calm down. I stopped crying but was upset. Then it started to rain. I love the rain, it has so many different emotions tied into it. It's a very powerful thing, I think. It felt like the world was crying for me, because it knew I couldn't. I rolled down my window despite it being freezing, so I could smell the rain in the air. It relaxed me, in that refreshing way that crying does. Yet I wasn't getting cold. Confused, I checked and saw that I did indeed turn off the heat in the car.... but it was still going, keeping me warm, even when I knew I shouldn't waste the energy with my windows down. My car was looking out for me. I guess it's happy to have a full tank of gas for the first time in three months.

I'm not really sure how I made it home without an accident. I was in a terrible state, crying for a good ten minutes and even after I stopped, I really only had my eyes glued to the car in front of me on the interstate. I know I was swerving a little here and there. I shouldn't have been on the roads. I shouldn't have made it home without so much as a scratch- no, without so much as getting cold. But I did.

And now, for those of you who are left reading this really long, seemingly rambling post, I will explain why this all has so much significance. I am agnostic. To most I explain it as, "I understand that there is a possibility of God existing, but you can't prove it." In reality, it's more of a "I want to believe in God, but I don't know that I can trust Him if He doesn't do something significant to announce his presence." I have pretty bad trust issues, and I'm rather rebellious and question authority a lot. I was also raised to be Atheist and during debates I tend to claim it just because I get so frustrated with the way many religious people are so condescending from their high horses. For a while I searched for answers but gave up. I knew I wanted to believe, but I couldn't. I haven't given it much thought in a couple years, until the other week when I had one of these notorious condescending Christians being very rude towards Atheists when she clearly didn't understand the concepts. (Mind you, this is the same girl that tried to say that Christianity was the first religion.) Even though she angered me, she awoke my curiosity again. Of course, first I was mad and wanted to hear about the other side, why God couldn't possibly exist. But I never actually read into it, knowing how many flaws in logic are on that side, and instead it's just ever so quietly been on my mind.

And then I have nights like tonight, reflecting on the past few months and on life in general. How is it I met someone who truly adores me for me, who's willing to do anything to make me smile, who thinks exactly like me on big-picture ideas, and who I am completely, totally, and irrevocably in love with? He is religious but only lightly and doesn't talk about it unless people come to him. But when I was asking him about it the other week, he told me he prays every night before bed, thanking God for me. I started tearing up in the middle of school thinking that someone would do that for me. And tonight? I was a complete mess. I shouldn't have made it home in one piece. Why did I?

Truth be told, I'm not entirely sure. But I have this feeing... Call me crazy, but I feel like I was being looked after.

À demain,

Mlle Delphine

Edit: Shortly after posting this, I got the last text from a friend saying goodbye because he was deployed to Aghanistan last night (the early morning hours after posting this). While I knew it was coming for months, I just broke down crying at the thought of not seeing him for a year and him being so far away and in danger and, yeah. It was bad. I went online and checked for someone to talk to, and I told him, "I need a hug." As soon as I hit enter, I heard my step dad get up off the couch downstairs, walk upstairs, and he came and hugged me tight until I stopped crying.

Then I finally got to talk to my wonderful angel an hour or so later and he got me feeling 100% again as usual. I set my alarm, he talked to me until I fell asleep (which was pretty late so I would only get a few hours of sleep), and then I woke up at 7:20. My alarm was supposed to go off at 6 but never did so I got to sleep in. But that meant I was late and thus truent and thus had detention for the first time in my life. While I *could* have made it to school on time for first hour, I felt like a mess and I needed a shower and I wouldn't have time for breakfast and just everything was wrong. I texted my mother and she called in saying I had a dentist appointment to excuse me from hours one and two. This gave me enough time to write my English paper that was due today.

Lucky? I'm not sure that's what I want to call it. But now I really have to go to school!

À bientot.

Montréal, Je t'adore

Bonjour mes amis,

As each day passes, I get that much closer to being able to move to Montréal and hopefully attend McGill University. The closer I get to being in Montréal, the more anxious I get and the more I desire to go! I've been keeping an eye out for things about it for a while now, including regularly checking The Montréal Buzz, reading Montreal 24, listening to la Radio-Canada, and *gasp* paying attention in U.S. History whenever Québec is mentioned. It always catches my attention when people mention Montréal or Québec, and it's probably the lone reason I ever go watch the news.

Finally, today when I was driving home, it hit me. I have these wonderful flowery dreams about the things I want to do with my life... but generally, they don't come true. But today? Today it hit me; I realized I am going to Montréal. I am. Me, Delphine Chevalier, the secret rebel who's always been afraid to do what she wants, is going to Montréal for college. I'm so excited. It's like when you get told something and you're in that initial "OH MY GOD THAT'S SO AMAZING!!" stage but you're still kind of experiencing the shock, and then the shock goes away so all that's left is "OH MY GOD THAT'S SO AMAZING!!"

Accompanying the realization that I'm going to be moving over a thousand miles away and into a different country, of course, came the realization that I'll be moving away from all of my friends and family. Another thing that I realized, though, is that not only do I know I can manage moving, as I've done it before, but this time it won't be as bad. Back when I moved to my mother's house for the first time, I felt alone in this world. I was hardly speaking with my father, my sister was out of the house, I didn't like my brother, my half brother was always out partying, and I didn't have that close relationship with my mother. Not to mention after dealing with some serious family issues for a few years, I had little to no self esteem and thus felt I had no friends (although that wasn't true). This time, I know that no matter how far I go, I have a mother, a father, a step-father, three protective older siblings, one little sibling that looks up to me, and loads of friends that love me. I also know that he will be there with me, and that alone is more than enough to get me through any difficulties my new life throws my way. No matter how hard things get, he always seems to make it better.

I'm not the type of person to shy away from my goals just because I know it will be hard. Usually it just makes me want to accomplish them more. When it comes to Montréal, this proves no different, because I know it will be worth it in the end and I'll learn so much from it.

But now I must return to reading two chapters of U.S. History, the lesson on the War of 1812 and writing about it, completing an entire English project on my own, and three or four math assignments. The scary part? I'm looking forward to it because I know it will lead to McGill, and thus, Montréal.

À demain,

Mlle Delphine

Muse

Bonjour mes amis!

Just so you've a fair warning, don't read my post if you're having guy troubles. As much as I want to ramble about him, I don't want anyone to feel bad because I know what that's like. Which is why I'm so excited now.

So yesterday, I was home sick. I'd been feeling nauseous for a good 24 hours with a sore throat and all of that, so I decided to take the day off of school. I had a bagel for breakfast around 8 or 9am, and then around 2pm a guy friend texted me making sure I'd eaten. While I said I'd had a bagel, I realized I should probably have lunch. So I went into the kitchen to make a sandwich. In our kitchen we have a window that faces out to the street and I noticed a FedEx truck drive by. (I know it's odd, but I always notice delivery trucks, because I know some day someone will send me something. Some day.) No biggie. But then it drove by again in the other direction. Then it stopped on the other side of the street. The man got out of the truck with something in his hand, ran up to our door, pushed the doorbell, and ran away. Must be something for my parents. Wonder what, it's not like they're expecting anything. So I go check the package.

It's addressed to me. Thoroughly confused, although happy to have received something in the mail, I open it. There's a seemingly empty envelope inside. I pull it out and open it, to discover something inside. I pull it out, and what do I see?

A TICKET TO SEE MUSE!!!

But wait. It has to be a mistake. I had been planning on going with some friends but I backed out because I couldn't afford to go. So I call my buddy Mark and ask, but he says they have all of their tickets, which were sitting in his room at that very moment. Now I'm completely lost.

And then I remembered my guy friend who'd checked on me to make sure I'd eaten. I had, after all, mentioned the situation to him. I text him, "Why am I holding a Muse ticket?" half expecting a reply that was just as confused as I was. His response?

"Because I want you to be able to stand out in a crowd and still feel that I'm beside you."

*Melt* You're such a sweetheart. I adore you.

I've never had ANYONE do something like that for me before. The most gifts I ever receive are the annual ripoff birthday-Christmas combination present (as my birthday falls on the 22nd of December), that is, if anyone remembers me at all. This didn't even have an occasion. And I know he's kind of tight on money, it's not like it was on a whim, "Hey, I'll buy her something because I can," it was definitely thought out. I was telling him how I'd have to brag to all of my friends about it today and he told me if they asked why, to tell them, "Because you're beautiful and I want to see you smile."

*Melt...again* I did indeed tell them that when they inquired. :)

Yeahhhhh. :)

À demain,

Mlle Delphine

My Friends are my World

Bonjour, mes amis!

What a day! This morning I finally was able to spend an hour or two chatting with a dear friend of mine who's having a rough time, and I feel so much better. I was pretty stressed out and worried for a while but I do believe all will be well again in due time. :)

Afterwards, I rushed to go pick up E, as I'm visiting the cities this weekend, so we could enjoy our day. It was supposed to be brunch, but I don't think I got there until a little after noon because I really needed to speak to my troubled friend so I could relax. I've known E since the early years in elementary school so it's always nice to get together with her. We ate at The Neighborhood Café (Hmm... Does that count as un mot francais?) and chatted about how stupid boys can be. Afterwards, we stopped at Jamba Juice, which by the way, is the best smoothie place ever, and then headed for the river. I love the Mississippi River.

It was quite peaceful... until we were disturbed by a bee and both decided it was time to leave.

We hung out at her house for a while and fixed up her blog situation so that her personal life doesn't get mixed in with her obession over Doctor Who. Alright, I'll give her that David Tennant is pretty cute! I haven't seen the newest doctor though. If you're interested, you can keep up with her at http://sonnetscrewdriver.blogspot.com/ (DrWho) or http://ere1414.blogspot.com/ (Whimsy).

While we were chatting, we ended up reminiscing about the different French teachers we've had over the years. I've never had the same one for more than a full year. In fact, I've only had two for full years and I've taken four years of French! Those were the two teachers we both shared, and it was agreed upon that our first teacher was the best we ever had. Asseyez-vous, levez-vous, asseyez-vous, levez-vous, asseyez-vous dans la poubelle. He was really awesome, I can't do him justice just by writing about him, but I can say that I owe it to him for my passion of the language! And then we found him online. We emailed him, and I do hope to hear back from him soon.

We also visited a local store and such but I had to head back home for dinner. It was definitely a de-stressing day and well needed! Merci beaucoup, universal powers that be, for giving me something in return out of all of the worrying I've done the last few days.

À demain,
Mlle Delphine

EDIT: Monsieur C replied! And remembers us! Today is a good day.

The Perfect Guy

Bonjour, mes amis,

It has been brought to my attention that I've never had a decent date.

Or present.

I've had three boyfriends... None of them even paid for the first date. I've never gotten a flower. I've never gotten a teddy bear. I've never gotten chocolate. Nothing. Nada. Zip. How does that work?

It made me sad.

Until I daydreamed up my perfect boyfriend! He'd be really fun to be around and a funny guy, but when it came time to be serious, he'd be a total sweetheart and listen, and he'd talk to me when he needed someone too. He'd be very intelligent, smarter than me (this may be my dork coming out, but.. smart guys = hot guys). That said, he'll of course be cute. He'll have an open mind, and he'll have a wide taste in music. He can pla- I mean, *could*- play the piano and the guitar.

And then he'll ask me to dinner and he'll bring me a rose. He will refuse to let me pay, and I'll only let him because 1. I'm flattered and 2. It's the first date and no one's ever spent money on me.

Some day. ♥

À demain,

Mlle Delphine

Qui-êtes vous?

Bonjour, mes amis!

I broke up with my boyfriend this morning for many reasons but the most important, I think, was that I need to rethink where I stand. Two years ago I knew exactly who I was and where I stood, but my Sophomore year of high school seemed to steal some of those morals away. My dear friend Kayla, over at That's Legit, inspired me to create a post about me. Who am I?

I like people knowing where I stand.

I hate hiding who I am. It's very important to let others know what you believe in, what your dreams and goals are, or even just what your favorite color is.

Tolerance and open-mindedness are very important.

That said, I realize that not everyone is going to be on the same page as me or agree with everything I agree with, nor will I always agree with them. Therefore, it's important to always be mindful of others. For example, I am not religious, but I like learning about different religions because it gives me an insight on the life of others. I cannot stand close-mindedness on either side of the argument, even if they agree with me. We must understand others in order to get along with them, and while we may not always agree on the same points, we can agree to disagree.

I'm a dreamer.

I like reaching for the highest of goals and dreaming up crazy insane perfect futures for myself. It's easiest said, "Where there's a will, there's a way."

I love chanter (to sing).

Ohhh my goodness! A year ago I didn't really understand this one, that's for sure. I mean, I sang when I was home alone, but that's about it. I couldn't drive yet and my siblings certainly gave me hell when I was younger for singing in the shower, so I avoided that as well. On Halloween this year I was at a party and my then-boyfriend heard me singing along to Cascada's Everytime We Touch (don't laugh, it's catchy..) and he suggested I join choir. I was placed into Women's Chorale which is mostly composed of Juniors (versus Choralaires, the choir where most Sophomores are put) and I was instantly in love. Everything from the amazing director, Mr. Hassig, to the girls in the choir that made me feel welcome, to the songs we sang, to the difficult struggles I had trying to get up to their level... I love it.

My worst subject is les mathématiques.

I've always been ahead of the general students but behind the honor students when it comes to math. So, as I've always been in honors math, I've always struggled very much in math. It frustrates me to no end when I can't understand something because I feel very awkward asking my math teachers for help. It's the only class I need actual help from the teachers in, but next year I will be in Pre-Calculus Honors and I can't put it off anymore. Luckily, I'll also have two handy tutors available to help me out. I'm actually a little excited for the challenge next year. I know I can handle it if I work hard.

I'm a geek.

I like school. Yep. Pretty much. ...No, I'm not mentally ill! Or at least, not to my knowledge. I like getting to see my friends every day and I like learning. My teachers were all so awesome this year, too! But yeah, not gonna lie, it's mostly the learning. If I could learn for a living, I so would! I challenge myself in as many areas as possible every school year, even the ones I know I'd never really want to go into *coughmathcough*.

I can't stand seeing people upset.

Seeing other people upset makes me upset. I care. It's a strength and a weakness, but I'd say it's definitely worth it. I love helping people get what they need; it makes me feel good. Shouting matches make me cringe, though. I hate it when anyone yells in anger, be it friends or parents or random people on the street. It just gives me a negative feeling, you know?

I'm addicted to Facebook.

'Nuff said.

I love making nouvelle amis (new friends).

Listening to other people's lives is very interesting to me. I enjoy talking with old friends and new friends and people I've never met before. I'm pretty open about things too, so if you can think of anything else you'd like to know, never be afraid to ask! (:

À demain,

Mlle Delphine